:To my husband

So, I spose I'm abnormal. It's okay though, I've come to terms with this news. I was never the little girl constantly thinking of her wedding day, I always got excited about the marriage. Throughout my life I've always dreamed of what it would be like to married to someone you love with all of yourself. To share this strong love and be able to share your love for
God. I'm not saying that I had a perfect idea of marriage. I know there is struggle and hurt along with the comforting and joy. But, I think the image of marriage is very different now from what I imagined when I was younger. There is no humility. There is no sharing. You live in the same house with someone you don't even know. Love itself is distorted.

No one knows how I long for you
How I'm trying to stay strong for you
Sometimes I don't know why I pray for you,
That you would also stay true for me
How easy the alternative would be
Life would be so simple and carefree
But empty without your love eternally

Sometimes, I wonder why I chose the path I did. It's not easy at times...


I want someone to kiss my forehead
and make me blush
To tell me goodnight
And when he holds me in his arms
I melt right there
Waiting for the world to start to turn again
I long for a love so divine
A love so unexchangable, unforgettable
I want the Lord to love it too.
Every kiss will make me catch my breath
Because I. cant. breathe.
I'm waiting for my heart to explode
My hands to shake
And my knees to be weak
I long for my understanding, humble husband
And I'll be waiting
Until he comes
and until then.

So, what if unexchangable isnt a word...who says you have to use real words in poetry? :)

I love you
used to mean
something.
Now, its turned
into an everyday,
to anyone and anything
nothing.

A big, perfect. mess.

Performance piece.

Letter to my Heavenly Father

Dear Lord Almighty,
Should I call you that?
Do you mind?
Cause I kind of get confused sometimes.
Casual or formal?
Chatty or direct?
Well, I guess I'll get
Straight to the point

Where the hell have you been?
Pardon my language
But with my free will
and see with
You ignoring me and all
I thought I might just
Come right out and say it.

I've been like this
for my life.
Guess you've just missed it
I am a broken faucet.
drip. drip. drip.
And then I'm a puddle on the floor.

I was sad yesterday
So bad I just sat
In bed all day.
And I called, yeah.
But I guess you were too busy
So I went back to sleep
To keep my sanity
If only in my dreams

When I awoke
The sun fell back to sleep
One more time
I tried.
Help.
You didn't answer
Did you?
...Sure.

Now I kneel
At the edge of
My squeaky bed
On the ground
Of my cluttered room
With my mess of a mind.

So this is my last
S.O.S.
...until the next time
Cause this heart
In my chest
And the one
Of my soul
Long to be
Whole in you.

See you in my sleep,
Write back soon,
Your lost sheep.

Peace, Perfect Peace.

Whenever I think about peace, I automatically think about hugging my mom. The hug where I wrap my arms around her waist and lay my head on her chest so I can hear her heartbeat and her arms are holding me tight, and we just stand there waiting for the world to still. And on really bad days, I just cry and stain her shirt with my tears and she says nothing. She just hugs me.

I need a hug.