oh, the nerve!

I haven't written a poem in a while, so here are some old ones that I didn't have the guts to post before.

Your arms wrapped around my stomach
I laid my head on your chest
And felt your heart beat with mine.
Where were the butterflies?
Had I forgot the promise for love?
This guilt I feel does not belong
I feel dirty, I think.
But you wrap your arms tighter
And I push my thoughts down deeper
The feeling of your lips pressed on mine
Doesn't live up to expectations
Your beard hurts more with my regret present
And your smell stays in my nostrils
And causes my breath to leave
My heart to hurt
And my self to hate me.


We grew up.
We grew different.
I stayed childlike.
You grew up without me.
I look at the world through stain glassed windows
You stare at your broken family and the whole in your wall
    to match the one in your heart
I cry when it hurts.
You laugh as you show the bruise rising up your torso
   his weapon of choice, a wrench
I dance to the beat of my favorite song
You drown out the sound of your simmering anger
   and sway to the booms of the world crashing down
Our circumstances were different to say the least
But salvation was a step ahead of you
And you stared it blankly in the face
And walked away.




Show me humility
Tell me you love me!


Oh, how you used to hover.
When we were young
You would control me.
I wanted to climb that tree
To hang upside down like a monkey
But I didn't
You told me no.
I wanted to love that boy
But you ran him away
With your hypocritical heart
So he wouldn't break mine.

I lived in a fantasy world
Ruled by you, my queen
You covered your tracks
To shake your finger at someone else
I was always wrong
You were always right.

I followed along with your game
But you were losing
me.



Twisting my head to see the whole reflection
of the less than average beauty
that is standing right in front of me
her hair is too curly, too pouffy, too crazy
those freckles those teeth, not to mention that body.
This mirror is my enemy.
Maybe tomorrow we can be friends.




blech.